Tuesday, October 23, 2001
...none of the pics on this page work anymore. >.< Augh.
First order of business--I twisted my ankle yesterday exactly 10 minutes after Watts commented I was the luckiest girl in the world. THANK YOU MRS. WATTS. THANK YOU VERY MUCH. ...it hurts to walk. Ow. Stairs evil. Why do I have a class on the third floor? Why? WHY? ...ow... It's all puffy and swollen. And owie. Very owie.
In other news, I have come to the conclusion that I should never state my opinion and be a doormat 24/7. My boss got mad at me the other day cuz I made a "smartass" comment and I think a friend is mad at me cuz I told her something kinda mean... ...and at my OTHER work this lady got pissed cuz I told her to come help do putbacks. I didn't wanna be the one putting stuff up, there was 5 baskets heaping full of junk. She just snipe at me that I was a bossy little girl...
My foot is not purple. You'd think it'd have the decency to at least change colors or something cool. No, it just swells and hurts. Bastard foot.
In other news, my friend Huey decided to learn how to sing "Where Are You Going?" in order to torment her boyfriend. She has my support. PITARI PITARI PITARI...
And do you guys know EVE 6 rocks? It does. Love that group...
Suckin' on my brain
You're the teacher
I'm the student
Turnin' things around
Your story's not congruent
Tabloid
Decoys
Pitiful excuses
Turning things around
You're turning things around
Their beat can't be beat.
~usa-t
Sunday, October 14, 2001
Haven't logged for like...forever. Oops. Don't know why I am now. ...tired...ugh. Dreamed I got a ticket. >.o Stupid dreams. I was only going 51 in a 30. Chee. Ughhh...
I cleaned far too much yesterday, it was inhuman. Shoot me. I still have pine smell up my nose.
MegaTokyo is my own personal obsession as of late....Largo and Miho in particular. So while Liz and Tay are off on their little Newsies thing, I'm quietly appreciating Largo's lack of shirt. I so~ wanna know how things end up...ah well.
I also got a Shadow Lady graphic novel the other day. Why is it that most manga that I find funny have to have girls getting naked all the time? I love Sorcerer Hunters books... ...but for the love of God, CHOCOLATE! Keep your clothes ON! Stop STRIPPING! I don't want to see you naked! Geezum! Ugh...fan service for guys gets out of hand. All I need to be happy is a guy with no shirt. Keh. Boyz.
There, I posted. I feel cleansed now.
~usa-t
Monday, September 10, 2001
Well, I was all prepared to sleep last night but I thought I'd channel surf a bit before dozing. Flip. Flip flip flip. And there was anime on Cartoon Network. I blinked a bit. It was some space thing and spaceships and such were going whoosh. "It's not Gundam." I said. I looked more. "And s'not Outlaw Star." I said. "I wonder what this is?"
And then there was Spike.
"...Cowboy Bebop!!"
So much for sleeping. I watched Cowboy Bebop and was happy. I like Spike. And Faye. And even Jet. No Ed yet--it's too far in the beginning. I saw the very end of ep 3 and all of ep 4. ...that was one uglyarse woman. Eugh.
In other news, while getting gas... ..the lady asked me how old I was and when I said "19" she laughed. I hate looking like a damn 12 year old. -.-;
Well, I have no homework or anything, I got it done between classes, so I'll spend the rest of the afternoon doing what I've done all weekend--obsess over Largo and Miho from Megatokyo.
Okay, Largo is just awesome. He's fuckin' insane. He's a hardcore gamer skilled in l33tn355. He currently thinks the undead has been unleashed and will destroy Tokyo...again. Tokyo's always getting destroyed, ain' it. But anyway, he's insane and funny. He reminds me a bit of my older brother--you know what he's doing is stupid, you would never do it yourself, but you can't help but just watch in utter amusement.
As for Miho...first off, her character is just... ...refreshing. For me it seems to be something new. There's always been quiet, strange girls, but Miho's more than some Ruri or Rei wannabe. First off, she has that whole goth/raver thing going for her which just jacks up the coolness rating to new heights. And the things she says--it's just like...dude! And she's always playing off Largo, so the way those two mix and interact just entertains and fascinates me to no end whatsoever.
And there you have it, my Largo and Miho obsession.
~usa-t
Monday, September 3, 2001
I went to Disney for three days, and boy, are my feet TIRED.
I will never be able to walk again. EVER.
Three days wandering the magic kingdom and one at Universal Studios' Islands of Adventure. I rode all the good rides. Tower of Terror, Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, etc... I rode the new Aerosmith Rock and Rollacoaster! I loved that one! I did Dueling Dragons, the Hulk, and the really trippy Spiderman ride at Universal! WOO!
Most amazing though was...I wasn't scared at all! I was more scared before the ride than DURING the ride! Once it started, I just started laughing my ass off.
And apparently, my destiny is to do the Jungle Cruise and tell corny jokes. ...god, that guy was like Cider or something. The jokes were so BAD...
Anyway...yeah. And stuff. I may post more on it later! Like about the Grinch, and about how some guy was hitting on Mary Poppins.
~usa-t
Saturday, August 25, 2001
I'm so funky lately. I've been trying to get back into a good mood and all and ya know... ...it's really damn HARD. Maybe it's cuz I really dunno why I'm feeling funky in the first place. This has happened before but...that was a longass time ago. Back when I wore all black and all that depressing crap. I can still PRETEND I'm happy most of the time... ...but I did snap a few weeks ago, and I couldn't pretend anymore and I just grabbed onto the nearest thing to get down about. I'm gonna blabble about it. And this isn't because of anyone doing anything, I've been feeling this way for a while now. And maybe writing crap will make me feel better. ...or not.
This is no one's fault, I know it. It's just something that happens. I just wanna be...I dunno. Better than I am now. I've gone up a step from where I was for the longest time, I admit. Before I had no confidence in myself at all. I still don't but I do a damn good job of faking it sometimes. I wish I could just feel more like...I don't really know, it's hard to explain. I know I'll never be all the things I wanna be, but this lack of confidence in myself is annoying the crap out of me. I'm afraid to show my friends what I've been working on cuz I'm afraid they won't like it. I bash my own ideas cuz I'm afraid they won't work out. I bash myself cuz I feel like m'selfish too much. And then I bash myself some more cuz I can't stand up for myself.
I need to beat some sense into my own head. >.< Augh! I'm sitting and trying to think "WHAT do I do real good?" and I'm drawing a blank. Lots of people say m'funny but... ...the person I wanna make laugh most never laughs at me that way. I guess I can say that for myself...even if it's kinda faking happy, I can make people smile. I make people laugh. I can make my bosses Mark and Lora laugh. My coworkers at the library laugh. My bosses and coworkers at Big Lots laugh. I made Brian smile and heaven knows that man never smiles. Liz says I can always make her laugh with being random and stuff, Emily once called me a goddess of jokes.
And my lameass mother sits there with this straight face acting like I should be beaten with a large stick for even attempting to be funny.
And now she's taking care of my lamer 23 year old brother while I work my ass off.
Okay, it is no wonder why I feel like shit lately. I'm being treated like it. And if she's the reason I feel like I can't do anything right anymore, I'm gonna kick her ass after I kick my own! I don't know if I can really blame her though. I mean, I'm pretty lame in the first place if I'm letting her bother me this much. Damnit.
I know I don't suck but I really do FEEL like it and I want a magical cure to make it STOP damnit. I don't LIKE feeling this way I know I SHOULDN'T feel this way but I DO feel this way and I don't know if I can do anything about it.
Until such a time when I find my cure all statis ailments item, I'm gonna be on edge. I'm gonna take things more personally than I should. I'm gonna feel bad when I say something that MIGHT be wrong. I'm gonna be a big fucking pushover. Well, more so than usual.
I'll try my best to keep pretending. Cuz I know no one likes seeing me upset. It's not so bad. Just annoying. Kinda like me.
~usa-t
Friday, August 24, 2001
Nadia is a good anime. This is why.
It has Tylor's seiyuu as a professor. "You can divide everything into two groups! Those that taste good and those that don't!" He is on a "top secret" mission for the US government. That, and he really thinks there are "sea monsters." He's just...he's a big goober and I love goobers!
And it has SANSON. SANSON ROCKS. Sanson is a dandy. Sanson is strong. Sanson drives like a maniac on speed. Sanson sparkles. Sanson's seiyuu is Kenyu Horiuchi, who is in that thingie Liz has been talking about. Sanson~!!!
And Jean is BEYOND adorable. Smart and cute and cuddly! And I like the way he plays off Nadia, like when the "sea monsters" are being attacked. Nadia wants them to get away. He doesn't really say he wants them to DIE...but when one gets hit, he's like "Direct hit!" and it's like he's in awe. ...which I can't blame him, since his dad probably died cuz of the damn things.
And Nadia's pretty damn cool too. Not too whiny, but not too pigheaded and stupid, not blaringly happy....
Jean is the blaringly happy one. But it's in a cute way. Cuz he is JEAN and he rocks, man! And his seiyuu does a great job, I love the little "Geh" sound he makes. ...wai wai sweetie. But anyway. ...Nadia is good everyone should see it! WAI WAI!
~usa-t
Friday, August 24, 2001
The History of the World Part 1 is spiffy.
"The servant waits while the master baits."
"Oh--...-.o"
Mad boffing action, Emperoress Nympho, Mighty Joint, and an entire song and dance number about the Spanish Inquisition.
"The Inquisition~...what a show! The Inquistion~...here we go! I bet you're WISHIN'...that we'd go away~!"
And it has a giant joint. The day is saved by "wacky weed." How great is that?! Giant joint. A giant joint. Somewhere, Katou is foaming at the mouth at the mere thought. I love Mel Brooks. ...of course, I love goofy things. I just love goofy things. They're so....goofy! Like me. Bweeee...
Worship the funny. Or the stupid. Whatever it may be to you.
~usa-t
Thursday, August 23, 2001
Robin Hood: Men in Tights is good. Worship Cary as Robin. And call the locksmith~!
More later. ^.^
~usa-t
Wednesday, August 22, 2001
My boss told me to take off work so I did! Yay! I slept in until 9ish...ooo. And then I played around for awhile, and then...I went to the comic book store! Yay! I spent some time there talking to this black boy and black girl, it was alot of fun. Me and the guy talked Trigun... Conclusion: Midvalley rocks. Then he tried to explain Jojo's something or other adventures to me and the girl, but...
"...jojo? Jojo?!"
"I am Mojo Jojo!"
"...I'm trying to talk!"
So that was fun! Then me and the girl talked about what shows we like...like me, she likes first season DB but NOT DBZ.
"It's...why are they CRYING? He's coming BACK."
She is also gonna go and buy all their He-Man and She-Ra tapes soon, so she says.
And the guy at the store found me the One Piece CD like Liz has. YAY! Character songs rock. Usop Drop rocks. Jolly Roger rocks. Sanji is a pimp. Oh~ yes.
And in conclusion, all three of us agree that Goldie from Gunsmith Cats is extremely frightening and has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. That's all!
~usa-t
Sunday, August 19, 2001
Bitchmode again.
Subject: Mama
Reason: She's a big fucking selfish bitch.
My mama caleld me, as she usually does on Sundays...yay. I asked about my older brother, Wad, who went up to live with her even though he's like 23 and stuff. He wants to get a job up there. S'been about 2 weeks--no job, still.
I hinted I needed money for school. No dice. And then she basically said I need to do for myself because "no one else will do it for you." ...it took every ounce of my being to NOT spit out "Yeah, especially not you." Instead I just said "I know" in a certain tone that hopefully indicated my feelings about this.
How the hell can she sit there and take care of my dumbass brother who has no job but not wanna help me and I have two...! I pointed out to her that once school starts, I'll have to start working 7 days a week. She didn't give a shit. You slimeeatting whore.
And she once again reaffirmed her belief that me getting gifts for other people is absolutely stupid. Okay. Maybe I can't afford it all the time and do it anyway. But ya know what? Sometimes it's more important to make OTHER people happy. You know, do things for OTHER people. Yeah! My world does not revolve around ME. Yeah, I could have bought FF Chronicles instead of getting Liz and Connie those things I just got for them but... ...so? I don't need the game that fucking badly. It's just a game. Yeah, I spent my birthday money getting Emily her birthday gift. So? Liz and Connie and Emily are all people who are important to me. ...
I'm just so frustrated. So...damn...FRUSTRATED. I want to escape from my mother... Even several states away she manages to piss me off and upset me. SPOONY ON j00! Bastiiccchh! Fine! Take care of Wade and ignore me! Who cares if I'm the one doing all the fucking work, getting nothing for it, and Wade is the loser who does jack fucking shit but gets all the god damn goodies! What are you doing, supporting his drinking habbit, both for milk and booze?! He can drink a case by himself and goes through a gallon of milk a day--IF not more!
In closing: My mama is a big spoony beyatch from hell and I wish she'd forget I exist.
~usa-t
Tuesday, August 14, 2001
This space available for rent to the hottest--I mean, highest...bidder. ^_^
I was stupid before, but I'm better now.
~usa-t
